Don’t leave alcohol near your pumpkins!
Archive for October, 2009
Halloween Warning
Saturday, October 31st, 2009Thought of the Day
Saturday, October 31st, 2009Choose to make a great day!
Boobies
Friday, October 30th, 2009.
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Did I make a spelling mistake? Oh My Goodness! So what did you think you were going to see……
it’s HALLOWEEN time!! Geesh!
Have a happy Halloween
Hendrik en de Psychiater
Friday, October 30th, 2009Hendrik en de psychiater.
‘Ik heb een probleem, dokter. Iedere keer als ik naar bed ga, denk ik dat er iemand onder zit. Ik ben bang en ik denk dat ik gek word.’.
‘Kom een jaar lang in behandeling bij mij,’ zegt de psychiater. ‘Kom drie keer per week op therapie, en dan zullen we er wel in slagen om die angsten te bedwingen.’
‘Hoeveel rekent u?’
’50 Euro per bezoek.’, antwoordt de psychiater.
‘Ik zal erover denken’, zegt Hendrik
Zes maanden later treft de psychiater Hendrik toevallig op straat.
‘Waarom ben je nooit meer langs gekomen voor behandeling van je angsten?’ vraagt de psychiater.
‘Nou, 50 Euro per bezoek, drie maal per week en dat een jaar lang is een hele hoop geld voor een arme sloeber als ik. Een barkeeper genas me voor 10 Euro. En ik was zo blij dat ik me zoveel geld bespaard had dat ik een mooi nieuw autootje gekocht heb.’
‘Is het echt? En hoe, als ik vragen mag, heeft die barkeeper je genezen?’
‘Hij zei me dat ik de poten onder mijn bed uit moest zagen ! . . . . Er kan nu niemand meer onder!!!’
Cell Phone Chargers in the Car
Friday, October 30th, 2009
Hi All,
As some of you may know, we had a pretty scary incident recently. Attached are pictures of what remains of our 2007 Suburban. We are all okay but I wanted to warn everyone not to make the same mistake I did.
This fire resulted from leaving an Iphone charger/docking station plugged into the car outlet. It overheated and started a fire, while parked in our garage. PLEASE unplug anything you have in your car outlets once you turn off your car!
We were VERY fortunate that we accidentally found the fire, at 11pm, before going to bed and before it spread to the house. None of our garage heat detectors or house fire alarms went off (another item to take care of on my to do list). The boys, Jonathan and I were pretty freaked out but we’re all enjoying our new car at least.
Feel free to pass this along to anyone you want. Better safe than sorry.
Thought of the Day
Friday, October 30th, 2009Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Charles Swindall
In the Hospital
Thursday, October 29th, 2009An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked,
“What the heck is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost.”
Happy Halloween
Thought of the Day
Thursday, October 29th, 2009People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Minnesota Fan
Thursday, October 29th, 2009We Packer fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Minnesota fan we see strutting down the street, with that obnoxious purple and gold “Viking” on their shirt and/or hat. We would swerve our vehicles as if to hit
them, and swerve back just missing them.
One day, while driving along with my wife, I saw a priest walking. I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
“Where are you going, Father?”
“I’m going to say Mass at Our Lady of the Hills Church, about 2 miles down the road,” replied the priest . “Climb in, Father. I’ll give you a lift.”
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Minnesota fan walking down the road, with that irritating “#4 Viking” shirt on, and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud thud. Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my
mirrors, but still didn’t see anything. I then remembered the priest. I turned to him and said,
“Sorry Father, I almost hit that Brett Farve Minnesota fan.”
“That’s OK,” replied the priest, “I got him with the door!”
Let’s Play Together..
Thursday, October 29th, 2009This is Harder Than You Think… (It’s really not that hard…)
RULES:
COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO AN EMAIL. ERASE MY ANSWERS, ENTER YOURS, SEND IT ON TO 10 PEOPLE (THEY SHOULD SENT THIS BACK TO YOU). USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES, THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP! TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU HAD THE SAME INITIAL. YOU CAN’T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.
1. What is your last name
Johnson
2. 4 Letter Word
Jazz
3. A Boys Name
Josh
4. A Girls name
Jackie
5. An Occupation
Judge
6. A Color
Jade
7. Something you wear
Jacket
8 . A Beverage
Jack Daniels
9. A Food
Jambalaya
10. Something found in the bathroom
Johnson & Johnson
11. A place
Jamaica
12. A reason for being late
Jogging
13. Something you shout
Jerk!
The hardest part is finding 10 people that will play with you!!!
