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< A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly [...]
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR. IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY…. IF YOU GO INTO CHINA ILLEGALLY, YOU’RE CONSIDERED A SPY AND GET HARD PRISON TIME. IF YOU GO INTO GERMANY ILLEGALLY, YOU GET A HEFTY FINE, WORK IT OFF OR [...]
I’m not really concerned about swine flu. Here’s my concern: • 3years ago Chinese calendar year of the cow… Mad Cow disease. • 2 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the bird . . . Avian flu. • This year, Chinese calendar year of the pig . . . Swine flu. Next year is the [...]
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic [...]
Peroxide, who knew? (safer and healthier than bleach) This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana (a doctor’s wife), and I want to share it with you. She was over recently for coffee and smelled the bleach I was using to clean my toilet and countertops. This is what she told me… I would like [...]