Email Variety

A U.S. Navy cruiser had anchored off Mississippi for a week’s shore leave. The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

Sending a written message by his yeoman, the captain replied:
Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers:

One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.

The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD are in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.

The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Caltech.

Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship’s doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina. We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda.

Upon receiving this letter, the southern mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and she knew the women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, the gracious mother heard a polite rap at the door. Upon answering, she opened the door to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered,
“There must be some mistake.”

“Impossible, Madam,” the first officer responded,
“Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.”