Posts Tagged ‘Bed’
Slippers
Friday, March 11th, 2011California Love Story
Thursday, January 27th, 2011
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex … She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles …
Something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her,
“Why do you love doing that?”
Because … She Replied …..
“I Really Miss Mine”
Bake a Cake or Go to Bed
Sunday, November 21st, 2010A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT’S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.”
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, “FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO.”
“FINE”, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, “WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON’T CLOSE RIGHT.”
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, “FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO!”
“FINE,” SHE SAYS. “THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.”
“I’M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON’T WANT TO FIX STEPS HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE ARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I’M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!”
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS………………………… HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
“HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW’D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, “WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.”
HE SAID, “SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?”
SHE REPLIED, “HELLOOOOO… DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO!”
Ideas ~ Gondolatok ~ Myšlienky ~ Ideeën ~ Les Idées
Monday, August 30th, 2010
Deer Camp
Sunday, August 29th, 2010
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Carl’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Carl’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Carl sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand, pulled me to our bedroom. There were candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, “Do whatever you want.”
So, here I am.
Thought for the Day
Sunday, May 30th, 2010My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
Cary Grant
Good Night, Sleep Tight..
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Ladies Casino Trip
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip – casinos, massages, facials, shopping…
Two days before the group is to leave Mary’s husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn’t going.
Mary’s friends are very upset that she can’t go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.
“Wow, how long have you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said ‘Guess who’?”
I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said,
“Now, you can do whatever you want.”
This Year’s Must-Haves
Monday, February 8th, 2010
Breakfast in Bed
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
