Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’
Sign in Chinese Restaurant’s Window
Sunday, January 1st, 2012Tom the Police Man
Saturday, September 10th, 2011Tom retires and moves to Alaska.
***********************
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
‘Name’s Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00…’
‘Great’, says Tom, ‘after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks Thank you.’
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. ‘Gotta warn you. Be some drinking’.
‘Not a problem’ says Tom. ‘After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em’.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. ‘More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fighting’ too.’
‘Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right! .. I’ll be there. Thanks again.’
‘More’n likely be some wild sex, too,’
‘Now that’s really not a problem’ says Tom, warming to the idea. ‘I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there… By the way, what should I wear?’
‘Don’t much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.’
Thought of the Day
Friday, April 15th, 2011America’s Schools
Saturday, December 11th, 2010Christmas Jokes
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009Christmas Wishes
Sunday, December 20th, 2009A Jewish Christmas Story
Sunday, December 20th, 2009The teacher was very curious about how each of her students’ celebrated Christmas Eve
“Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?” she asked.
Patrick addressed the class. “Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”
“Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?”
“Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever
so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.”
Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, “Now Jimmy Cohen, what do you do on Christmas Eve?”
“Well Miss, it’s the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing ” Oy, What a friend we have in Jesus”. Then we go to the Bahamas…
Christmas at the White House
Friday, December 18th, 2009
The 2009 White House Christmas tree is an 18.5-ft. Douglas fir. It was grown in Shepherdstown, W.Va.

The tree is lit with environmentally friendly LED lights and decorated with more than 800 ornaments from previous White House Administrations.

The theme of the decor is “Reflect, Rejoice and Renew.”

The ornaments on the Douglas fir in the Blue Room were sent to community groups around the country for refurbishing, with instructions to decorate them with favored American landmarks. They now honor the Statue of Liberty and the Kennedy Space Center, among others.

These two Fraser firs are decorated with red ribbons and cranberries and stand in gilded Versailles boxes.

First Lady Michelle Obama enters the Grand Foyer to speak to the press about the decorations.

White House pastry chef Bill Yosses stands next to a gingerbread house that is covered in white chocolate and weighs 390 lb.

The gingerbread White House includes a replica of the First Lady’s vegetable garden.

Inside the gingerbread house is a cutout revealing a dining room with a working chandelier and furniture made of chocolate.

A tiny candy version of Bo, the Obamas’ dog, is crafted from marzipan.

The National Christmas Tree, situated on the Mall, also features energy-efficient lighting, consuming 6,000 watts (vs. 18,000 last year). It was lit by the Obamas in an official ceremony on Dec. 3, 2009.









