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Posts Tagged ‘Little Girl’
Free Kittens
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing
FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her.
Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.
“Hi there little girl, I’m President Obama. What do you have in the basket?” he asked.
“Kittens,” little Suzy said.
“How old are they?” asked Obama.
Suzy replied, “They’re so young, their eyes aren’t even open yet.”
“And what kind of kittens are they?”
“Democrats,” answered Suzy with a smile.
Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day;
and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of “FREE KITTENS,” when another motorcade pulled up,
this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.
“Hello, again,” he said, “I’d love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you’re giving away.”
“Yes sir,” Suzy said. “They’re Republicans.”
Taken by surprise, the president stammered, “But… but… yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS.”
Little Suzy smiled and said, “I know. But today, they have their eyes open..”

Kid Prodigy
Friday, September 3rd, 2010Mommy and her Little Girl
Sunday, March 14th, 2010 A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
‘Mommy,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’
‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite.’
‘OK’, the little girl says,
‘How much do you weigh?’
‘Now really,’ the mother says, ‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’
Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’
‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
‘My Mom won’t tell me anything about herself,’ the little girl says to her friend.
‘Well,’ says the friend, ‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.’
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, ‘I know how old you are. You are 32.’
The mother is surprised and asks,
‘How did you find that out?
‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’
‘And,’ the little girl says triumphantly, ‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce..’
‘Oh really?’ the mother asks. ‘Why?’
‘Because you got an F in sex.’
Only a Mother Would Know
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out, and mydad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.
Then she said, (as only a mother would know),
“‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”


