Inzerát
“Už ma unavuje falošná skromnosť, preto to poviem na rovinu – som krásne 25 ročné dievča s dobrými spôsobmi a vyjadrovaním. Hľadám chlapa, ktorý zarába aspoň pol milióna dolárov ročne. Znie to možno trochu trúfalo, ale ak si uvedomíme, že ľudia s miliónmi ročne sú v New Yorku len strednou triedou, tak si nemyslím, že […]
In the Restroom
Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?” I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know […]
Loud Music
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my drink and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered […]
Car Accident
There I was on my way to Wal-Mart… getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind… wasn’t even on the horizon… I was in a great mood… and then… I rear-ended a car. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car… and you know […]
10 Commandments
HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS God went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’ The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’ And the Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’ ‘Can you give us an example?’ ‘Thou shall not kill.’ ‘Not kill? We’re not interested.’ So […]
Balance
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said. “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve […]
Blind Cowboy in a Bar
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter: “Hey, you wanna’ hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky voice, the […]
The Spoiled Under – 30 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up, what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning… Uphill… barefoot… BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no […]
Golden Retriever
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Golden Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, […]
