The Hair Cut
One Monday, a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning there […]
Hearing Test
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]
Old Timers Sex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’ ‘Yes’, she says, ‘I remember it well.’ ‘OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a […]
Test Results
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. ‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from behind the mask . ‘Are my testicles black?’ Embarrassed, the […]
Abbott & Costello buying a computer
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO : Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT : Mac? COSTELLO : No, the name’s Lou . ABBOTT : Your computer? COSTELLO : I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT : […]
Q & A
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN’S NIPPLES FOR? A: It’s Braille for ‘suck here.’ Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It’s the same as a French kiss, but ‘down under.’ Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. […]
Only in America
Only in America….. do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America….. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America….. do banks leave both doors open and […]
EVER WONDER?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, […]
