Blonde on the Sun
A Russian, an American, and a Blond were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’ The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’ The Blond said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’ The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook […]
Blond Knitting
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’ ‘NO!’ the […]
Blond at the Doctor’s Office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’ The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; Likewise she pushed […]
Blond River Walk
There’s this blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blond on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’ The second blond looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.’
Blond Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’
Blond Car Trouble
A blond pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, ‘What’s the story?’ He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’ She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’
Blond Distance
Two blonds living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blond says to the other ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’ The other blond turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????’
Monk Mystery
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall […]
Mature Lady Driver
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 […]
