Two Buttons and a Square
(1/If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words? 2/My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. 3/Apparently, common sense isn’t that common)
Are You Speeding? I am Not Speeding…!
GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY. I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT… One Sign You’re Driving Too Fast……… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I Thought Cucumbers Were Only for Salads..
This information was in the New York Times several weeks ago as part of their “Spotlight on the Home” series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems. 1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, […]
New Sex Study…
It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
O x y m o r o n s
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something […]
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey be plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have never a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Pork Chops? Maybe Not…
In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth. The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, […]
United States Marine Corps..
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It’s too good not to pass along.. The conversation went like this… Iranian Air Defense Radar: ‘Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.’ Aircraft: ‘This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.’ Air Defense […]
