Bulimie
“Dneska jsem byla u lékaře a konečně přišli na to, jakou mám nemoc!!! Mám poloviční bulimii!” “To je hrůza! A jak to, že poloviční?” “Děsně žeru, ale nezvracím!”
Travel Tips for Fliers
During a commercial airline flight a Navy Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a baby in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to […]
Are We Really THAT Stupid?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods… On a Myer hairdryer: ‘Do not use while sleeping’. (Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a […]
When NOT to Hyphenate…
‘I don’t know, last I saw them, they … ‘ ‘The main thing I learned in College was …. ‘ ‘As soon as I get done here I’m gonna … ‘ ‘The coroner told me that it looked like he had been hit in the head several times with a ….. ‘ ~ No comment […]
Pravá Slovenská Reklama
Zástupcovia firmy Tatramat sa boli v Taliansku vo firme Zanussi poučiť ako vyzerá reklamná kampaň. Po prehliadke výroby išli na prezentáciu nového reklamného sotu, kde sa Claudia Cardinale za zvukov hudby vyzlieka a nakoniec svoj odev hodí do automatickej práčky a povie: “Claudia prať nemusí, za ňu perie Zanussi.” Po návrate domov tiež vyrobili sot. […]
A Fairy Story
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. ‘My good man,’ the fairy said, ‘I’ve been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.’ The man told the fairy. ‘Well, where I come from we […]
La Fable de l’Ours et du Lapin
C’est un ours qui poursuit un lapin. L’ours : Je vais t’attraper, petit merdeux de lapin. Le lapin : Va te faire voir, ours de merde qui pue la pisse. Les deux traversent un champ et là se trouve une grenouille magique La grenouille : Stoppez la vous deux! Je suis une grenouille magique et […]
Don’t Mess With Old People
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD George Phillips of Marsh Green, Michigan was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw […]
THREE WOMEN
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. “THAT WAS MY PAGER,” SHE SAID. “I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.” A FEW MINUTES LATER, […]
