Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
‘1’ Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!! ————————————————————————————————— ‘2’ Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG! ——————————————————————————————————- ‘3’ Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? ——————————————————————————————————- ‘4’ Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. […]
Smart Blonde
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said: “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean, it […]
Polish Sausage
Everyone is in a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days! A guy walks into a store and asks the clerk: ‘In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?’ The clerk looks at him and says, ‘Are you Polish?’ The guy (clearly offended) says, ‘Well, yes I am. He then says: But let me ask […]
Mermaid or Whale?
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly […]
Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave […]
Hollywood Squares
If you remember the Original television show Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions… Q. Do female frogs […]
Dr. Marc Faber Tells How It Is
“The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, […]
Today is International Disturbed People’s Day
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend… just as I’ve done. I don’t care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself.. You hang in there sunshine, you’re friggin’ special.
Italian Women Are Tough!
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. When he reached the bottom of […]
Bitchology
FINALLY – Someone is bitchy enough to say it like it REALLY is! . . . . . When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a BITCH. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a BITCH. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or […]
