Easy Math
This is what you may run into in the Every Day World, Keep your ears open! What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over […]
Vtípky
Teorie relativity… Manželka: “Včera to byla s manželem nádhera! Hodinová předehra a potom jsme se další hodinu milovali.” Manžel: “Včera to stálo s manželkou za hovno. Nejdřív se mi hodinu nechtěl postavit a pak jsem se hodinu nemohl udělat.” —————————————————————— Močí spolu dva policajti. Jeden povídá: “Ty vole, ty máš nějak mokrý kalhoty.” Druhý: “Kurva, […]
Omdat Ik een Goeie Vriend Ben!
Ik hoop dat je het niet erg vind, maar ik heb jouw naam opgegeven voor de trekking voor een 7-daagse Cruise. Ik kan je verzekeren dat er verder geen vertegenwoordigers aan de deur komen of dat je gebeld zult worden. De winkansen zijn uitzonderlijk groot. Het betreft hier een 7-daagse cruise (7 dagen en 6 […]
Making Babies
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’ Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby […]
Tough Love vs. Spanking
Most of the American population thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of ‘those moments.’ One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it’s the vibration from the car, […]
Fireman Sex
A Fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go. […]
Virus Allert
If you receive an e-mail entitled ‘Bedtimes,’ delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It […]
Thought for the Day
I looked up the word politics in the dictionary, and it’s actually a combination of 2 words: poli, which means “many” and tics, which means”bloodsuckers”. J. Leno
Human Body
*It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. *One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). *The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb. *Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. *A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s. *There are about one trillion bacteria […]
Breeding Bulls
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ‘THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’ My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, […]
