Posts Tagged ‘Contractor’

Blonde Buys Windows

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.

Hellloooo,……….. just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid!
So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It’s been a year! I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back.

I bet he felt like an idiot.doll01

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2008 Contractor Awards

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Ladies & Gentlemen, Good evening and welcome to the 2008 Contractor Awards.

Nominees are:

1)

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2)

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3)

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4)

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5)

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6)

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7)

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8 )

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9)

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10)

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11)

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12)

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and…… THE WINNER IS………

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Stimulus Plan

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$4,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$2000 for me, $2000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
And now, my friends, you know how the new stimulus plan will work.

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