Posts Tagged ‘house’

Election Commentary

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

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The best election commentary I’ve heard so far…

‘I haven’t left my house in days.
I watch the news channels incessantly.
All the news stories are about the election;
All the commercials are for Viagra and Cialis.
Election – erection – election – erection – election – erection – either way we’re getting fucked!’
Bette Midler.

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This is Amazing

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

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http://www.quizyourprofile.com/guessyournumber.swf

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Poem

Friday, June 10th, 2011

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My face in the mirror
Isn’t wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn’t dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never…

…put my glasses back on.

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What to do During an Earthquake

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

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Water is critical

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/greenspace/2010/01/rain-barrels-permeable-pavement-water-efficiency-storm-water-los-angeles-lid.html

Please pass this along.

Where to Go During an Earthquake

Remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway? Well, forget it! This is a real eye opener. It could save your life someday.

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP’S ARTICLE ON ‘THE TRIANGLE OF LIFE’

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI ), the world’s most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries. I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years, and have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene — unnecessary.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them – NOT under them. This space is what I call the ‘triangle of life’. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the ‘triangles’ you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY
1/ Most everyone who simply ‘ducks and covers’ when building collapse are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.

2/ Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a bed, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

3/ Wooden buildings are the safest type of con struction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4/ If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5/ If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.

6/ Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!

7/ Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different ‘moment of frequency’ (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads – horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn’t collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8/ Get near the outer walls of buildings or outside of them if possible – It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

9/ People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

10/ I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Spread the word and save someone’s life…

The entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared!

‘We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly’

In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul, University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did ‘duck and cover,’ and ten mannequins I used in my ‘triangle of life’ survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions , relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for t hose doing duck and cover.

There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the ‘triangle of life.’ This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe, and it was seen in the USA , Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV.

Subject: Save your life with “The Triangle o f Life”

“Triangle of Life”:

Without listening or reading, simply by looking at the following self-explanatory photos, you can learn more than in a thousand words about how to protect yourself during a major earthquake…

If you are inside a vehicle, come out and sit or lie down next to it. If something falls on the vehicle, it will leave an empty space along the sides. See below:
[My question is - how do you know which side of vehicle should I lie down next to? How do I know the triangle will be formed on "my" side?! emailvar]

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Source:國際救援小組(ARTI), 網址:

http://www.amerrescue.org/

American Rescue Team International(ARTI)is said to be the World’s most experienced rescue team and disaster management-mitigation organization.

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My Life Would Be Different If…

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

For those who love their pets

IF I DIDN’T HAVE A DOG OR CAT…..
I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.

Forthose01

My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.

All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be
free of hair.

Forthose02

When the doorbell rings, it wouldn’t sound like a kennel.

Forthose03

When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.

I could sit on the couch and my bed the way I wanted,
with out taking into consideration how much space
several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.

Forthose04

I would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation.

I would not be on a first-name basis with six veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.

Forthose05

The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave it ALONE.
My house would not be cordoned off into zones with
baby gates or barriers.

Forthose06

I would not talk ‘baby talk’ ‘Eat your din din’ ‘Yummy yummy for the tummy.’
My house would not look like a day care center, toys
everywhere.

Forthose07

My pockets would not contain things like poop bags,
treats and an extra leash.

Forthose08

I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L,
W-A-L-K, T-R-E-A-T, O-U-T, G-O, R-I-D-E, C-O-O-K-I-E.

Snoopy

I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.

Forthose09

I would not look strangely at people who think having
ONE dog/cat ties them down too much.

Forthose10

I’d look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading ‘mud’ season.

I would not have to answer the question ‘Why do you have so many animals?’ from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get.

How EMPTY my life would be!!!

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The Porch and The Blond

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

houseveryfancy

“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch” he said. “How much will you charge me?”
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?”
“That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” he responded.
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blond jokes.”

A few hours later the blond came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already??” the startled husband asked.

“Yes,” the blond replied, “and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
“Thank you,” the blond said, “And, by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

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Mama and Her Bible

Sunday, September 19th, 2010

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and they prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said “I had a $100,000 theater built in the house.”

The third said ” I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL-600 to her”.

The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $200,000 to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.” The other brothers were impressed. Mama sent them all ‘Thank You’ notes.

She wrote: ” Milton , the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.

“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound that could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead. I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.

“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you son.”

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Divorced Barbie

Monday, September 13th, 2010

DIVORCED BARBIE DOLL!
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person,
‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’

The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,
Skater Barbie for $19.95,
and
Divorced Barbie for $265.95′.

The amazed father asks:
‘Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with:

Barbieolder

Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer,
one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.

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Building Permit

Monday, September 13th, 2010

I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It’s 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets, and a loud outside sound system. It has parking for 200 old cars and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim. The King City Council told me no way! So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque…Work starts on Monday…

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Signs of a Modern Woman

Monday, August 30th, 2010
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