Playboy reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue.
Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic.
In other news…. we all remember when KFC offered a “Hillary”meal, consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs.
Now, KFC is offering the “Obama Cabinet Bucket”. It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit.
Just keeping you up to date.
Some repeats, some new…
Forget about Chick-Fil-A and the cows telling you to eat chicken! For your safety, eat more pork.
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I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding
me. I decided to start a conversation.
‘Where are you headed?’ I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
‘Petawawa. We’ll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we’re being deployed to Afghanistan
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time…
As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch.
‘No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn’t be worth five bucks. I’ll wait till we get to base.’
His friend agreed.
I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. ‘Take a lunch to all those soldiers.’ She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. ‘My son was a soldier in Iraq; it’s almost like you are doing it for him.’
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and
asked, ‘Which do you like best – beef or chicken?’
‘Chicken,’ I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. ‘This is your thanks.’
After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the restroom. A man stopped me. ‘I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.’ He handed me twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my
side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, ‘I want to shake your hand.’ Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain’s hand.
With a booming voice he said, ‘I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.’ I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!
Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. ‘It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.’
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers.
As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for
our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little…
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of
America’ for an amount of ‘up to and including my life.’
That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.’
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and they prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said “I had a big house built for Mama.”
The second said “I had a $100,000 theater built in the house.”
The third said ” I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL-600 to her”.
The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $200,000 to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.” The other brothers were impressed. Mama sent them all ‘Thank You’ notes.
She wrote: ” Milton , the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.
“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.
“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound that could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead. I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.
“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you son.”
A man walked into a restaurant, and saw a sign hanging over the counter which read:
Cheese Sandwich $1.50
Chicken Sandwich $2.00
Hand job $5.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary money, he beckoned to one of the attractive women, serving a line of eager-looking middle-aged men.
‘Yes’?: she inquired, with a naughty knowing smile. ‘Can I help you?’
‘I was wondering,’ whispered the man, ‘are you the one who gives hand jobs?’
‘Yes?’ she purred seductively: ‘I am.’
The man said: ‘Then would you please wash your hands – I would like a cheese sandwich.
