Blanke 1 : mijn vrouw heeft zo’n grote borsten dat mijn handen te klein zijn om ze helemaal vast te nemen
Blanke 2 : mijn vrouw heeft zo’n lange benen dat als ik haar om 7 u begin te kussen vanaf haar voeten ik maar om 8 aan haar navel ben.
Marokkaan : mijne vrouw hebben zo’n kont dat as ik op haar gat sla en dan werken ga, haar gat nog altijd trilt wanneer ikke thuis kom.
De Blanken : jawadde, heeft je vrouw zo’n grote kont?
Marokkaan : neenee, ikke nooit nie lang weg voor te werken.
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Little John the Baptist
Matt. 18:4-5
“Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. ”
Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed Him “playing church” with their cat.
He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, “Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!”
Johnny looked up at her and said, “He should have thought about that before he joined my church.”
Smile, it gives your face something to do!
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Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember
Prayer wheel for our soldiers… please don’t break it.
When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say the following prayer for our troops around the world…
‘Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in time of need. I ask this in the name of Jesus , our Lord and Savior. Amen.’
There is nothing attached. This can be very powerful. Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not stop the wheel, please… Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine, Chaplain & others deployed in harm’s way, prayer is the very best one.
Most
parents wonder if they taught their sons and
daughters everything they needed to know to lead
a safe and sane life.
You know what I
mean . . .don’t run with a knife, don’t stick
beans in your nose, don’t lick a frosted piece
of metal, etc.
But,
you know, I think I might have missed this
particular piece of advice.
However,
let’s face it, if any of my sons or daughters
ever tried this totally idiotic stunt, I figure
they are way too stupid to survive in this world
anyway!
Never…
Ever…
Ever…
Put a
FIRECRACKER
in your ass and light it!
I REPEAT. . .
Never…
Ever…
Ever,
Put a FIRECRACKER
in your ass & light it ! !
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Now, that’s ONE DUMB ASS !
Enjoy your 4th of July this Year and don’t put your firecrackers in your crack.
This is exactly why you should always, ALWAYS!!! twirl in front of the mirror before leaving the house.
Quelle est la chose la plus rapide au monde ?
L’Anglais a dit:
*Moi, je dirais que c’est la pensée, puisque la pensée est immédiate.
Le Français a dit:
*Moi, je dirais que c’est la lumière car il est prouvé que rien ne bat la vitesse de la lumière.
Le Belge a dit:
*Moi, je dis que c’est la diarrhée, parce que quand tu as la diarrhée, t’as même pas le temps de penser ni
d’ouvrir la lumière que t’es déjà dans la merde.
No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
